God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

I will never understand why bad things happen to good people. I know God only puts obstacles in our lives because He knows we can over come it. If he brings us to it, he can bring us through it. But, why have I not gotten over this? 

I have really good days and then I have really bad days. 

I still can't help to wonder, what is so wrong with me that I can't keep someone longer than 3 months now a days. 

I know I have to be happy with myself before I can be happy with someone else. but, it's so hard to be happy when the past strays behind you. I also know that you can not compare someone to your past but once again it's so hard when crappy things have happened and you don't have your full trust in guys anymore. 

Guys, I know that not all of yall are the same, but I have dated basically the same guy 4 times. And, they've all ended the same way. Bad, and in heartbreak. 

I am always told to "look in your friendzone" for your "perfect" guy. Thats just the thing. I rarely stay friends with guys, because I always either talk or start dating the guys I meet. Except one. 

Yup, you've guessed it. Patrick. 

Lets be honest though. I really don't like him like that anymore. I used to yes, but not anymore. 

I know it is not my "time" but, it's so much fun having a guy there. I love my girls, but having a guy to talk to is fun, and you don't seem so lonely. 

Anyway, basically all this just comes down to is I have got to be happy with myself before I can be happy with someone else. And, I can't look for happiness in someone else like I have in almost every single relationship I have been in. 

So now that I read this over, it's kinda sad and boring. Oh well.......It's been on my mind lately. And I will post something happier later after work.