Not So Sassy Morning.

Lets be honest. I have been pretty dang tough the past few weeks. But, now I feel worse than when it happened. I don't know if its the fact that I finally got the nerve to throw his stuff away and it's not in the corner of my room or why I feel so empty and my anxiety is so high. I know it was a big move for me, specially since I just found some stuff the other day from high school boyfriends that I never threw away. Or maybe it's the fact that it just hit me that it truly is over. It's done. I may never see him again.

I really thought that getting rid of his stuff would be closure for me. It would make me feel better. Make me happy even.

Boy was I wrong. 

I still can't help to think, what was so wrong with me that you left me for her. Someone 7 states away. Someone who you have never met, when I'm just 2 hours away and could hold you. When a week before you told me "Do you honestly think I would dump you for her? Someone who is that far away?"

Yes sweetie, yes I really do. Guess what. You did it.

Apparently I just wanted you more.

Speaking of wanting you more. I'll be honest. I cried myself to sleep listening to that song last night. And for everyone who hasn't heard it. Here it is.

I know I need to be strong. Because I don't need someone who would do that to me. I really am trying. Thats why I threw out his stuff. But, damn, it hurts.

By the way I'm talking about this you would think that it was a year or longer we were together. But, when you hear about someone wanting to buy you a ring and marry you and all of that BS that every other guy says, it makes you want them even more.

And, maybe I'm just being a little girl about this. Maybe I need to learn not to wear my heart on my sleeve anymore.

Anyway. I need to get ready for work. I'll post later about a happier stand point of things.

But, I know y'all are wanting updates.

#TeamTyler- I got a "good night beautiful" from him the other night......and then I didn't hear from him the next day until like 9 at night. I know he is busy with being a teacher, a jr high, 9th grade, and high school football coach, but it just sucks.

#TeamPatrick- Told me last night that he was going to give another girl a chance. But, he still wanted to talk to me. Sorry hun, I'm not going to do that to the other girl. It isn't fair to her. Look at what just happened to me.

Oh good lord. Help me.